Thursday, February 18, 2016

Picture Perfect

Photo: Natureworks (morgefile)

When I was younger, I always envisioned that I would be help others when I grew up. I thought for the longest of times that I was going to become a doctor, or a nurse, or anything health-related. I was in the pre-health program in my high school, ultimately becoming a Certified Nurse Aid (I'm not one anymore), and I made sure to make good grades in schools so I could go to the school of my choice. God blessed me tremendously in high school and allowed me to graduate top of my class. I was sure at that point that I was meant to become a doctor.

That all changed my freshman year of college.

Going two hours away for college wasn't worrisome for me, because I had an older brother who had done it already and I knew that I had family members in the area that were looking out for me. The problem that I had with going to college was college itself. Looking back on it now, I would say that I liked college, but I didn't enjoy it. A means to an end. I went because I wanted to "become someone" important. I enjoy learning things, but depending on the subject, like Physics or Organic Chemistry, it became really hard for me to grasp those basic concepts I needed in order to do well in the class. 

Suddenly, my foolproof path to become a doctor was shattered. After my first year of college, I didn't want anything to do with healthcare. Instead of changing my major, I decided to stick with it, hoping that things would improve enough to change my mind about healthcare.

Photo: Eric Huang (Unsplash)

It didn't improve.

By the time I graduated from college I felt so crushed and defeated. I walked across the graduation platform not with a smile, but with serious face because I knew that I didn't have anything lined up to do (job, internship, research). I knew I was fighting an uphill battle, but instead of seeking God, I slumped into a small depression. I wanted things to be right, well-placed and in order, and I wanted things done in my timing, but at that point, things were totally out of my control. 

Just because everything isn't going they way you want them to doesn't mean that they aren't going as God would. 
I've come to realize that I have this issue that I always want things to work out perfectly. Seeking the ideal outcome in all situations isn't possible, and I know that, but part of me tries so hard to make it possible at all times. God hasn't called us to be a cookie-cutter image formed from the ideologies of the world - He's called us to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15 & 16). 

We get so caught up doing this to get ahead, to make ourselves feel comfortable, but actually God hasn't called us to be comfortable. He wants us to engage our culture with the truth of the Gospel. I'm not perfect (thank God!), but I don't want to live an ordinary life of meaningless work when I know that God's called me to something greater. God has everything in His control, and in His timing I believe that I won't have such a desire to have things impeccable, but seek His face in all matters of my life. Being perfect isn't all that special, but living a life worthy the call of Christ has far more rewards than our minds can ever imagine.

Embrace the call.


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